A Down Day in the Hospital

Song Lyric of the Day:

Can we pretend that airplanes / In the night sky / Are like shooting stars / I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

B.o.B (featuring Hayley Williams) / “Airplanes“

I’m still in the hospital, still waiting for these preterm labor contractions to stop. The medicine is obviously not working like we’d like it to, although my cervix is still intact, so that’s something. Today was a really down day for me. After three days of doing my best to stay strong, I finally let myself cry and, boy, did I cry. I cried on the phone with Rich first thing, I cried when my friend Cynthia stopped by, I cried when my sister came by, I cried when my dad came by, I cried again on the phone with a few other people. Then I cried myself to sleep for a much-needed nap. I actually managed to not cry when Rich and Caren came by for a visit tonight, although I very easily could have.

I know things could be worse — and I am so grateful they’re not — but this is still really hard for me to deal with. I don’t understand why my body is doing this nor what’s going to happen next. I guess I’ll just keep praying for a miracle to happen overnight and that my exams in the morning will show my contractions have finally stopped. In the meantime, I think I might go have another cry.