The tail end of a several-minutes long diatribe while discussing home improvement projects:
“I HATE that short hobbit toilet so much! Someday, when we replace it, I want to sledgehammer it to smithereens. I HATE it. It’s so gross. I keep expecting Ewan McGregor to pop up out of it.”
Sighing in exasperation: “Are you done?”
Taking a bow: “And scene!”
“Uh-huh.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“I realized Coraline’s first poop on the potty was on my birthday.”
“And just think — she picked this gift out all on her own. The real gift was doing it at my mom’s house so you wouldn’t have to deal with it.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Hearing approaching footsteps: “Peeing with the door open!”
Footsteps getting closer: “Peeing with the door open! PEEING WITH THE DOOR OPEN!!!”
Right outside of view of the door: “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to be peeing with the door open, would you?”
“Arrrrrggggggghhhhhh!”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Laughing: “See, romance isn’t dead. It’s just full of gas.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“You don’t have botulism.”
“You don’t know that for sure. I could have botulism.”
Pulling up the website and reading the symptoms. “You’re not slurring your speech. Is your vision blurring? Can you still see? Are you blind?”
“No, I’m not blind.”
“Then you don’t have botulism.” Going to the kitchen to look at the rice pudding containers and coming back to the office. “Honey, did you not see that they say right there on the side to refrigerate them? And that they were bloated? “
Groaning in pain. “No.”
“Huh. Maybe you are blind, then.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
*For the morbidly curious and strong-stomached, here’s the clip. DO NOT watch if you’re remotely squeamish. Trust me on this one.
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“If you had to go back in time to when you had to work and toil in the fields just to survive, how do you think you’d do?”
“Honey, I’m pretty sure I’d be their first recorded suicide.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“You know how F is S’s work husband? Well, I realized I don’t really have a work husband since I work with everybody about the same.”
“Hello! I’M your work husband.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t count since I’m actually married to you.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“I’m so going to –“
“No, you cannot blog about this.”
“Dammit.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
“Point Pleasant.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s about a girl who’s the daughter of the devil.”
“Of course it is.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
