The tail end of a several-minutes long diatribe while discussing home improvement projects: “I HATE that short hobbit toilet so much! Someday, when we replace
“I realized Coraline’s first poop on the potty was on my birthday.” “And just think — she picked this gift out all on her own.
Hearing approaching footsteps: “Peeing with the door open!” Footsteps getting closer: “Peeing with the door open! PEEING WITH THE DOOR OPEN!!!” Right outside of view
While shopping in a home improvement store: “Hey, do you want to buy some lye and a shovel, freak them out?”* “What is wrong with
“You were really funny last night.” “See, I told you I’m a funny drunk!” “You’re not that kind of funny drunk.”
“So if I got amnesia, how long would you work to make me fall in love with you again?” “Work? Pfft. You’d fall in love
Looking up from the iPad and noticing American Horror Story: Asylum on the TV. “Thanks for that. Seeing that creepy guy with his skinned face.
During an hours-long car drive: “Since I’ve lost a few pounds I think I could fit into that outfit again.” “I remember when you first
The evening after Rich’s shoulder surgery: “You know, when the pager went off way earlier than they said your surgery would be done, I panicked.
While trying to find somewhere to turn the car around: “What was I thinking? I should never listen to you when it comes to driving