Looking at the iPad and reading aloud: “‘How to tell if you’re a hipster.'”
“Does having a pair of panties that are called hipsters count?”
“It does not. That just means you’re a parent.”
Category Archives: scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 22,488
After hours of driving in a torrential downpour:
“This always happens when I’m driving. You always get the good weather. I’m the one who gets the crap weather, while you get Snow White standing on the side of the road with birds on her fingers.”
Laughing: “That’s not true. I’ve had bad weather when I was the one driving.”
“Whatever. I promise you that if we switched places right now and you got behind the wheel that, oh, it would stop raining and the sun would shit out a unicorn or something.”
“Wow. ‘Shit out a unicorn.’ Even for you, that’s eloquent.”
Filed under scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage #25,236
“Hey, did you hear about that Tupac hologram performing at Coachella?”
“Nope.”
“You have to see it.”
Nodding toward Coraline, who has come to stand in front of the iPad as the video starts playing: “Should she be watching this?”
“Oh, she’s fine.”
“She’s starting to repeat things. And he’s already dropped the F-bomb a few times.”
“Oh, well, I don’t think she really noticed.”
Nodding toward an entranced, non-blinking Coraline: “Honey, I really don’t think our 19-month-old should be watching and listening to gangsta rap. I can’t believe I’m the one having to say that.”
Filed under humor, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 15,798
After a day of mutual intestinal distress:
“How’s your stomach?”
“Still with me. How’s yours?”
“It feels like my butt’s going to blow off.”
Laughing: “See, romance isn’t dead. It’s just full of gas.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 11,232
“I don’t feel so good. I ate a rice pudding from the pack that was sitting on the table.”
“Shouldn’t it have been refrigerated?”
“I don’t think so.”
(later that evening)
Laying down on the floor and propping his feet up. “Go to WebMD. I think I have botulism.”
“You don’t have botulism.”
“You don’t know that for sure. I could have botulism.”
Pulling up the website and reading the symptoms. “You’re not slurring your speech. Is your vision blurring? Can you still see? Are you blind?”
“No, I’m not blind.”
“Then you don’t have botulism.” Going to the kitchen to look at the rice pudding containers and coming back to the office. “Honey, did you not see that they say right there on the side to refrigerate them? And that they were bloated? “
Groaning in pain. “No.”
“Huh. Maybe you are blind, then.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 13,739
During Shark Week:
“Check this out. This guy’s leg got bitten and look what’s left of it.”
Immediately after hitting play on the DVR:
“Oh my God! Why the HELL did you think I’d want to see that?!?”
“I thought you’d find it interesting –“
“Interesting?!? Ugh.” Doubling over: “I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Oh, it’s not that –“
“Seriously! WHY did you think I’d want to see that? What is wrong with you?!?”
Laughing: “Guess I was wrong. You obviously don’t find it as interesting as I did.”
*For the morbidly curious and strong-stomached, here’s the clip. DO NOT watch if you’re remotely squeamish. Trust me on this one.
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 13,015
“If you had to go back in time to when you had to work and toil in the fields just to survive, how do you think you’d do?”
“Honey, I’m pretty sure I’d be their first recorded suicide.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 12,591
“You know how F is S’s work husband? Well, I realized I don’t really have a work husband since I work with everybody about the same.”
“Hello! I’M your work husband.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t count since I’m actually married to you.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 4,113
“I’m so going to –“
“No, you cannot blog about this.”
“Dammit.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 18,923
“What are you watching?”
“Point Pleasant.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s about a girl who’s the daughter of the devil.”
“Of course it is.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
