Day 20: Your biggest insecurity.
Being a good mom and parent. Coraline is my first (and likely only) child. I freely admit: I was virtually clueless going in. The most consistent contact I had with babies up until then was hanging out with or babysitting my nephews. Now, if I’d been about to adopt a puppy or a kitten, I would’ve known what to do with my eyes closed. But a baby? My baby? Talk about being terrified you’re not doing something right before you even start.
I skimmed through but didn’t actually finish reading most of the parenting books I bought or was given — there are so many books out there, and a lot of them give completely contradictory advice. Instead I Google things all the time (symptoms, milestones, etc.); I told Mom a while back I have no idea how she or anyone else parented without the Internet there to provide answers or support 24/7. I (and Rich) have learned a lot along the way, and continue to do so. We’ve turned to our family and friends who are parents whenever we’ve had questions or needed advice; thankfully, that hasn’t been a frequent or regular thing. Oh, and I call the pediatrician about the seemingly most trivial things. They’ve got a great nurse line, and I’d rather be safe than sorry when it comes to something I never have to think about for myself (is it OK to use Neosporin on a cut? How much allergy medicine since she’s under 2? Is it OK to have peanut butter in the house?).
I’m doing the best I can to be a great mom to Coraline, and I will continue to do the best I can for her. She and I (and Rich) have gotten very good at learning as we go. I will say I truly believe I am mom enough for her. She’s happy, she’s smart, she’s healthy (save for those blasted allergies), she’s kind, she’s sweet, she’s confident, she’s fearless. I’ve had a hand in a lot of that, you know.