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Liveblogging: The 81st Annual Academy Awards

Gawd, Hugh Jackman looks good.

Enjoying Hugh Jackman’s opening number. You can’t say he’s not giving it his all.

“I am Wolverine” — awesome!

Oh, look, Angelina’s wearing a black dress. Again.

Eleven minutes in, and we’re on the fist time-suck montage of the evening. Any guesses as to how many more of these they’ll have? I’m going to say three. Make that five.

My prediction for Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz. Don’t know why, but I just think it’s her night.

I really hope every category’s nominees aren’t presented this way. It’s. Taking. Forever.

At least if Marisa Tomei wins, it should shut up all the My Cousin Vinny doubters.

First winner of the evening: Penelope Cruz! I’m 1 for 1 so far. I should quit while I’m ahead. Wonder if Javier was her date tonight?

Loosely translated, Penelope thanked her fellow Spanish actors and said this moment is shared with them and this award is in a sense theirs, too.

Predictions: Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor (duh), but if anyone else steals it, I think it’ll be Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder. Best Actress: I think this will be Meryl’s year, but Melissa Leo could be the wild card. Best Actor: I really, really want to see Mickey Rourke win. I think he’s earned it more than Sean Penn, especially since Penn’s already won in the past.

Ah, Tina Fey and Steve Martin together again. Love them. Best Original Screenplay: I think it’ll go to Wall-E, although I’d love to see In Bruges honored.

The Oscar goes to Milk. Boy, was I way off.

I think Best Adapted Screenplay is Slumdog Millionaire‘s to lose.

The Oscar goes to — you guessed it — Slumdog Millionaire.

Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black are presenting a montage. At least it’s for animated movies that came out in 2008. Oh, look, Angelina’s smiling. That’s nice.

I’m going with Wall-E again, this time to win Animated Feature.

It’s official: Rich and I need to see Wall-E, especially since it just won the Oscar.

Best Animated Short Film? I don’t know any of them. Any of them have the penguins from Madagascar? I love the penguins.

I’m going with the French La Maison En Petits Cubes to win. Or Presto because the bunny’s really cute.

Yep, the French animated short won.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s sporting some impressive cleavage tonight. Daniel Craig’s tuxedo is wearing him well, as always. They’re presenting the award for Art Direction. I think it’ll go to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, although it should go to The Dark Knight.

The Oscar for Art Direction went to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Bah.

Nominees for Costume Design now. I’m guessing the Academy will again show its appreciation for Mr. Button.

And The Duchess smacked down Mr. Button for Costume Design. These Oscars are really boring so far. I’m going to paint my nails now.

Hellboy II or The Dark Knight should’ve won Makeup instead of Benjamin Button. Bah.

Glad Robert Pattinson shaved. He looks like Wolfboy with too much stubble. He and Amanda Seyfried are introducing our third montage of the evening. At least it’s using “Lovers in Japan” by Coldplay for the music.

I forgot Judd Apatow created a short film for the Oscars. Here’s hoping that livens things up. Cinematography award is coming up, too. My prediction: Slumdog Millionaire.

Natalie Portman looks gorgeous as usual. Ben Stiller’s spoofing Joaquin Phoenix. Waiting for it to get funny.

Slumdog’s cinematographer wins it. Ben Stiller’s bit never got funny.

Jessica Biel’s giving a rundown on the Scientific and Technical Awards, which she hosted recently. My husband just caught a glimpse of her and informed me that she is his “boo.” News to me. And to her, I imagine.

At least Seth Rogen and James Franco’s bit is funny.

Time for the Live Action Short award. I think The Pig will get it. No idea why, though.

The Oscar went to Spielzeugland (Toyland). I don’t know anything about it or any of the other live action shorts. In totally unrelated news, my dog is snoring. Which is what I’ll be doing soon if the awards show doesn’t get any livelier.

Hugh Jackman’s leading a musical number. Beyonce just chimed in. Dear lord, now they’re singing a song from Grease. My puppy’s head just exploded.

Lord help me if Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron start singing a song from High School Musical. I’ll have to shoot myself.

Montage! Number four, I think.

Looks like it’s time for the Best Supporting Actor award. They’re doing the same multiple-presenter thing as for Best Supporting Actress. I’m going to watch my dogs wrestle for a few minutes.

Congratulations to Heath Ledger’s family. They’re making their way to the podium now to accept his posthumous Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

Very moving speech by the Ledger family. Also very moving to see so many of his fellow actors with tears in their eyes, too.

Montage # 5, this time of documentaries that came out in 2008.

My prediction for Best Documentary Feature: Man on Wire. Documentary short: The Witness — From the Balcony of Room 306.

Man on Wire won. No surprise there.

Smile Pinki won for Documentary Short Film.

Montage # 6! At least it’s for action in movies in 2008. Fun!

Will Smith’s presenting the award for Visual Effects. I’d love to see Iron Man or The Dark Knight win, but I’ll bet Mr. Button gets it.

Fucking Benjamin Button. Even after all its awards won tonight, I still have no interest in seeing that movie. I’m allergic to schmaltz.

Now on to Sound Editing. Again, I’d like to see The Dark Knight or Iron Man take it. But I think it’ll go to Wall-E.

Congrats to The Dark Knight for Sound Editing. I imagine it will also win the upcoming Sound Mixing Oscar, too, unless the Academy decides to award Benjamin Button again. You know, because if you listen closely enough, you can hear him aging.

Slumdog Millionaire wins for Sound Mixing. And I once again win as one of the worst Oscar predictors ever.

Will Smith prepares to hand out the fourth award for which he’s presenting, the Oscar for Film Editing. This is one category I love — editing, when done well, is an art unto itself. I predict Slumdog Millionaire will win.

Woohoo! I was right.

I could swear the announcer said a tribute to Jerry Lewis is coming up. That’ll be the obligatory dog-walking segment, then.

Eddie Murphy is presenting the Jean Hersholt Award to Jerry Lewis. Time to walk the dogs and surf some blogs.

Michael Giacchino is conducting an orchestra in playing music from this year’s nominees for Music (Score). They’re on Defiance now.

Zac Efron and Alicia Keys are presenting the Music (Score) award. I’d like to see Defiance win, but I’m going with Slumdog Millionaire.

Slumdog can do no wrong tonight. If it doesn’t win Best Picture later, I’ll be really, really surprised.

I predict that the song “Down to Earth” from Wall-E will win best Music (Song). Just because it’s a tiebreaker against the other two songs nominated, both from Slumdog Millionaire.

Slumdog Millionaire takes the Oscar for the song “Jai Ho.”

Liam Neeson and Freida Pinto presenting the award for Best Foreign Language Film. I’m going to say The Class will win.

Departures from Japan won Best Foreign Language Film. Thank God I didn’t join any betting pools for this year’s Oscars. I’d be screwed.

Queen Latifah is introducing the In Memoriam segment. She’s singing Billie Holiday’s “I’ll Be Seeing You” as images appear on the screen behind her.

Bernie Mac died way too soon. And I still can’t believe Michael Crichton’s gone.

Oh, Reese. You do remember you’re not 50 years old yet, right? What’s with the dress?

Best Director has to be Danny Boyle.

Yep, it’s Danny Boyle. I’ve got to get out and see Slumdog Millionaire this week.

Time for the Best Actress award. I think it’s down to Meryl and Melissa.

I take it back. I think Kate Winslet’s going to win. Sorry, Meryl and Melissa.

Oh, Sophia. That dress does not do you justice. Now, if it were prom …

Go, Kate Winslet! Now there’s an actress who epitomizes glamour.

Best Actor is up next. Still pulling for Mickey Rourke. And if he wins and mentions his late dog, Loki, I’ll probably cry.

I love Richard Jenkins. I’ve loved him since Flirting With Disaster. in which he played an FBI agent. Who happened to be Josh Brolin’s life partner. And who accidentally ends up on an eventful acid trip. Makes you want to see it, doesn’t it?

Sean Penn won. I’m disappointed.

What’s left? Best Picture? We all know who’s winning that one: Slumdog Millionaire.

Slumdog Millionaire caps off an amazing night. And now I’m heading to bed.

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