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My High Holy Night of Television

Song Lyric of the Day:

Merry little voices clear and strong / Come and roll your sleeves up / So that we can pitch in / Cleaning crud up in the kitchen / As we sing along / And you’ll trill a cheery tune in the tub

Amy Adams / “Happy Working Song

9:06PM.
After a day spent changing litter boxes, doing laundry, flipping the mattress, getting organized, working out, and conducting an archaeological dig to uncover Rich’s tall dresser, I’m now relaxing by watching the 80th Annual Academy Awards. After blogging live throughout last year’s ceremony, I decided not to bother doing that again this year. Why? Because (1) it’s a pain in the ass, (2) other than Juno, I’m really not excited about most of the other nominees or haven’t seen them yet, and (3) no one’s going to check here for live coverage anyway.

That said, so far this year’s ceremony is boring. And, though I love Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, he’s turned out to be my least favorite Oscar host; I think he’s out of his element in this venue. Hopefully he can still turn tonight’s show around, but we’ll see.

Before I forget, here’s who I think will win: Javier Bardem for Best Supporting Actor, Ruby Dee for Best Supporting Actress, Julie Christie for Best Actress, and Daniel Day-Lewis for Best Actor. Now who would I like to win? Javier Bardem for Best Supporting Actor, Ruby Dee or Amy Ryan for Best Supporting Actress, Ellen Page for Best Actress, and Johnny Depp for Best Actor.

I may or may not blog later on. But only if something interesting happens during the Oscars.

9:21PM.
Yay! I was right — Javier Bardem won. God, that man cleans up nice. Love his comment about the Coen Brothers putting “one of the most horrible haircuts on history over my head.” And, for those of you who don’t understand Spanish, when he thanked his mother, he also dedicated it to her, to her grandparents, her parents, and to Spain, among others.

9:27PM.
Oy vey — Jon Stewart just got to introduce a very unfunny bit about what we, the viewing audience, would be watching if the writers’ strike was still going on. Which prompted Rich to just now comment that “it sounds like he’s dying.” Maybe not dying, but definitely floundering.

***

Keri Russell looked beautiful as she introduced the performance of “Raise It Up,” a song nominee for August Rush. And what a beautiful performance it was, too.

9:32PM.
Owen Wilson looks good. He’s introducing the live action short film nominees.

9:34PM.
I’m tired of Jerry Seinfeld promoting Bee Movie, but this montage of some of his “earlier work” was kind of cute. And now on to the short animated film nominees.

9:37PM.
Alan Arkin’s announcing the best supporting actress nominees. And the winner is …

9:39PM.
Tilda Swinton! Wow, didn’t see that one coming. Congrats to her, though. She’s one of our most fearless actresses today.

9:42PM.
Commercial break! Time to check on the load of laundry in the dryer.

9:49PM.
This is the closest Jessica Alba’s ever getting to an Oscar: as a presenter.

9:50PM.
Jon Stewart’s first truly funny joke (about Jack Nicholson affecting the pregnancy rate at the Oscars).

9:51PM.
Oh, Josh Brolin, you were one of my first-ever celeb crushes. I was yours from the first time I watched The Goonies. It’s great that you’ve matured like a fine wine.

9:52PM.
Best Adapted Screenplay goes to the Coen Brothers — no surprise there. I think they’re going to win best picture and direction, too. My money’s on Diablo Cody for Best Original Screenplay for Juno.

9:57PM.
Miley Cyrus has a huskier voice than I would’ve thought. Reminds me — it’s official that her new movie will be filmed in Nashville, not Louisiana. Which is a GREAT thing for Tennessee.

9:59PM.
Kristin Chenoweth is the bomb. I’ve loved her ever since seeing her in Wicked on Broadway. Makes me wish that Pushing Daisies was going to air new episodes soon. But a fall return is better than no return at all.

10:04PM.
Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen look frighteningly alike tonight. I blame it on their fros.

10:05PM.
Best Sound Editing went to The Bourne Ultimatum. Next I’d like to see Best Sound Mixing go to Transformers because of the ABC News story tonight about nominee Kevin O’Connell being the Susan Lucci of the Oscars. Here’s hoping the 20th time is the charm.

10:08PM.
Alas, The Bourne Ultimatum takes Sound Mixing, too. Next year, Kevin O’Connell. Next year.

10:12PM.
Best Actress category already? Really? Wow. At this rate, the show will wrap in its allotted three hours. One can hope.

10:15PM.
And the Oscar goes to Marion Cotillard. The dark horse won it by a nose.

10:19PM.
I want to play the Wii on a screen that big!

***
Colin, I’m so happy you’re doing well these days and cleaned up and sober. Now please get a haircut.

***
ONCE! That’s what I need to add to my Netflix queue. “Falling Slowly” — I love this song. Simply beautiful.

10:22PM.
Okay, ONCE is already in my Netflix queue. Right after Black Sheep.

10:24PM.
Who were those unfeeling harpies in the front row not applauding Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova’s sublime performance? I WANT NAMES.

10:31PM.
Good to see Renee Zellweger at a healthy weight. That weight being more than that of a blade of grass.

10:34PM.
Nicole Kidman looks beautiful pregnant. Although her forehead is still suspiciously — how shall I say this? — immobile.

10:39PM.
Robert Boyle’s speech is going on forever. Let’s watch the new Indiana Jones trailer instead!

10:46PM.
McDreamy pretties up the Oscars.Niiiice. Oh, and he’s introducing the last of the five nominated songs, too.

10:49PM.
After hearing all the nominated songs, I think the Oscar should go to “Falling Slowly” or “Raise It Up.” But if an Enchanted song must win, it should be “That’s How You Know.”

10:50PM.
Holy chia pet, Batman! What happened to John Travolta’s hair?

10:51PM.
Yes! Glen and Marketa won for “Falling Slowly.” I’m going to run out and buy that soundtrack this week. That and the one for Juno.

10:56PM.
The Steven Spielberg flashback for his Schindler’s List win reminded me of the emotional acceptance speech given by Holocaust survivor Gerda Weissman Klein many years ago. I’ve never forgotten what she said about being alive to appreciate the “magic of a boring evening at home.”

10:59PM.
Very generous, classy move on Jon Stewart’s part bringing Marketa Irglova on stage to get her chance to say thank you for her song win.

11:03PM.
Hilary Swank’s introducing the In Memoriam segment now. I’ll be crying as soon as they show Heath Ledger.

11:06PM.
RIP, Roscoe Lee Browne, Suzanne Pleshette, Bob Clark, and Heath Ledger. But where was Brad Renfro? To be overshadowed and forgotten in death so soon after his passing…for shame.

11:15PM.
Interesting way to incorporate our soldiers overseas into the broadcast.

11:18PM.
Will Michael Moore win for documentary? Surprisingly, no. The winner is Taxi to the Dark Side.

11:25PM.
Oh, Harrison Ford. The first man I officially wanted to marry (when I was 8 years old). Remember how you met my mom and godmother in NYC a couple of years ago? While I was across town in Times Square with my sister meeting the Naked Cowboy? Yeah, I’m still pissed about missing out on the meeting of a lifetime, too.

11:26PM.
Thundercats are a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Told you Diablo Cody was going to win Best Original Screenplay. With a name like that and a script to match, how could she not?

11:29PM.
Diablo Cody’s speech comes in as a close second for best of the night, after Tilda Swinton’s.

11:32PM.
Helen Mirren is da bomb. Who better to announce the nominees and winner for Best Actor?

11:36PM.
Who’s that drinking your milkshake? Daniel Day-Lewis!

11:38PM.
I think that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen Daniel Day-Lewis.

11:44PM.
I was right again — the Coen Brothers won Best Directing for No Country for Old Men. Ethan Coen gets right to the point: “I, uh, don’t have a lot to add to what I said earlier. Thank you.” I like that. Now for them to win Best Picture. Because I’ve never understood how the two awards don’t always go hand-in-hand.

11:47PM.
Denzel just announced it: Best Picture goes to No Country for Old Men. And there you have it. I’m off to bed as soon as they wrap up their speech.

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