And when I cry for me I cry for you / With tears of holy joy / For all the days you’ve still to come / And did I ever say I’d never play / Or fly toward the sun / Maybe in the meantime, something’s missing
I’ve been AWOL for a while. As those close to me know, my grandma-in-law has been hospitalized since mid-September. In the time since then, I’ve been an emotional basketcase. While she’s still fighting — and improving (thank God) — on a daily basis, I’ve been dealing with all my emotional baggage over my lost grandparents as a result. So I’ve been crying easily and a lot. (Shower cries really are the best; where better to get all snotty and blotchy faced than the best place to clean up immediately after?)
I’ve been slowly starting to feel better these last few days, so Caren encouraged me to write about it and to go ahead and go live with a few posts I wrote between now and then which, due to my basketcaseness, I’d decided against posting. I even added an email link to my left nav bar after noticing the mailer Rich created for me wasn’t working anymore, for who knows how long.
Despite — or maybe because of — the drama of late, I’ve managed to do the unthinkable: write. I’ve been getting into the habit of working on my book, something I’ve needed to do. And wanted to, only to be stopped dead in my tracks by both my fear of failure and my inner editor, who can be quite the bitch: That paragraph you just wrote? You should really go back and change that first sentence. That’s right — go back, not forward. But really? I want Rich to pony up my Pottery Barn desk.
I’m almost back to normal, I think, because I really, really, really want to catch up on my TiVo queue. The new fall TV season is a bear, so new and old shows alike are stacking up unwatched. I’m just hoping my TiVo can keep up with the demand.