Relay Recap, Hanging With the Gang, & My Newest Fantasy Second Husband©

Song Lyric of the Day:

This wasn’t supposed to happen / I’ve been hit with your charm

Sugarcubes / “Hit”

9:58PM.
I’m wiped out, still recovering from the weekend. All told, my family and friends helped me raise an impressive amount of money for cancer research, the gang got Bang!ed, and I met two celebrities. Not too shabby for Friday through Sunday.

The Relay for Life went better than I hoped for this weekend. I started getting everything organized at 9AM Friday morning, loaded the Xterra that afternoon, and got to the site around 3:30PM. While in the middle of setting up our shade awning, an impressive thunderstorm hit. I got soaked, Samantha showed up and promptly got soaked, the awning ended up on the ground collecting water, and setup was delayed for a while. A fun start to our overnight event, no?

Pappa Doug showed up next, also a tad bit soggy from the deluge. He helped Samantha and me finish setting up our shade awning and set up our tent. The rest of our team showed up and Mom, Dad, Tom, and Marjie helped kick things off with the Survivors’ Lap at 7PM.

With the Relay officially started, we then took turns walking the track around the World’s Fair Park. Other than a tiny bit of drizzle, the weather became cooperative and we didn’t get any more substantial rain for the rest of the event. The Luminaria ceremony at 10PM was pretty emotional for everybody; as two cancer survivors played “Amazing Grace” on bagpipes and led the way, we all held a single white candle and walked the track as the names of those who lost their battle to cancer were read. I happened to be near the stage in time to hear Curry’s uncle’s name and Tamara’s mother’s name read, which was tough.

Dad took Mom home after the Luminaria ceremony, promising to come back by himself, which he later did. Tom and Marjie also headed home after the Luminaria ceremony, and the rest of us continued our walk through the night. I was pretty much fueled only by adrenaline at this point and didn’t eat anything substantial (not more than half a barbecue sandwich) or drink nearly enough water; it’s a wonder I didn’t get sick. Jonathan and Curry ran home at one point to walk their dogs and came back while I was trying to nap. I laid down from 3:30AM to almost 5AM and had no luck whatsoever in falling asleep; even with earplugs there was too much noise for me to tune out. And, as I mentioned, I was running on adrenaline, so I don’t think I could’ve slept even if I’d had total silence. Samantha, on the other hand, passed out almost immediately when she laid down to nap. I’m surprised my evil, resentful glare from the other side of the tent didn’t wake her up.

We started taking our site apart around 6AM. At a quarter to seven, we all participated in the final lap and Rich’s original artwork brought in an additional $60 for our tally. All told, once money I turned in last week is added in, our team raised almost $2000, significantly more than the goal of $1000 I set. I can’t thank Rich, Samantha, Tamara, Doug, Jonathan, Curry, Shawn, Benjamin, Marjie, Tom, Mom, Dad, and Brent enough for all their hard work and dedication. Not only did they help raise some serious dough, they’re all on board to do it again with me next year. And Pappa Doug is a serious power walker–he’s the kind of person you dream about having on your Relay team. Special thanks also to Momma Carol for her silent auction contributions and baked goods. I plan on sending an email this week to thank everyone who donated for their money and support, as well.

I got home at 7:30AM, managed to change into a fresh t-shirt, and passed out. I woke up at 12:50PM only to be asked by Rich, “Should you be up yet?” So I went back to bed and woke up again at 3:30PM. I managed to make some spaghetti for lunch (since I had barely eaten in the last 24 hours) and vegged on the couch in an almost catatonic state for a few hours.

Brent and Benjamin showed up at a little after 7PM, followed shortly after by Tamara, Jonathan, and Curry. We started our evening by watching Benjamin’s DVD of his recent skydiving adventure. After watching it, I’m now not so sure I want to try that someday. And I definitely don’t want Rich to try it unless he’s got a good life insurance policy set up first.

We then played a fun card game called Bang!, gamely taught to us by Rich, who’d played it before. Long story short, one of the cards you get to play is a Bang! card which means you shoot another player, so things devolved quickly with the obvious obnoxious comments being bandied about. I particularly enjoyed when Curry said that since Jonathan was getting on her nerves, she was going to Bang! him. Good times.

After wolfing down pizza delivered from Brunetti’s, we moved over to the living room to watch Happy Hell Night. After being subjected to Brent’s crapsterpiece, Last Slumber Party, on more than one occasion over the years, I decided it was time for a little payback. Everyone else was basically subjected to HHN simply for good measure (sorry, guys). I’m actually impressed that Rich made it through. And that he’s still talking to me.

Benjamin, Curry, Jonathan, and Tamara left for the night, and Rich, Brent, and I played Puerto Rico. Rich won, I came in second, and Brent lost, which is really all that mattered. Brent and I then watched some of his The Hills Have Eyes (Unrated Edition) DVD. Rich was upstairs in the office cringing every time Brent and I hollered in response to a particularly gruesome scene, which was more frequent than you’d expect; you would’ve thought we were watching sports bloopers, we yelled so often. We finally went to bed at 2AM, which, in retrospect, turned out to not be the healthiest or wisest move after having pulled an all-nighter (Brent stayed in our guest room for the first time).

We woke up around 10AM, had breakfast, and said bye to Brent. Rich and I then headed to the Knoxville Convention Center for Adventure Con; Rich was supposed to help his friends with the East Tennessee Gamers set up, so he was eager to get there early.

I’ve been to collector’s conventions before, but this was my first one with celebrities. The celebs on tap yesterday were Adam Baldwin, Corey Feldman, Hayley Mills, Burt Ward, Ray Park, Verne Troyer, Felix Silla (Buck Rogers in the 25th Century), and Robert Z’Dar (Maniac Cop).

After making sure Rich was on board, I paid for Adam Baldwin to autograph a photo “To Pattie;” both of us are huge Firefly fans. Rich then took a picture of me with him. I look positively tiny next to him; he’s got to be at least 6’4″.Rich then retreated upstairs to the game room and I decided to head over to talk to Ray Park, best known as Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; I’m also a big fan of his work as the Headless Horseman stunt double in Sleepy Hollow (that’s him doing all the decapitating) and as Toad in X-Men.

I approached his table and told him that I’m a huge fan of his work and think that he’s really talented. He smiled, said thanks, asked my name, and I was very pleasantly surprised to notice an English accent. I then went on to say how I thought that stuntwork, when well done, is like watching ballet. He smiled and replied, “Yeah. I actually do ballet.” Me: “Neat. Well, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I think you’re great. I don’t have any more cash, or I’d get an autograph.” He laughed and said, “Thanks for stopping by, Pattie” as he shook my hand.

Giddy over how nice he was, the great smile, and the kicky English accent, I went upstairs to hit Rich up for some cash so I could get an autographed photo. Turns out my boy was tapped out, so I found an ATM machine and went back to talk to Ray Park a second time. “Hi. I’m back. And I have money now since I found an ATM.” He laughed and asked which photo I wanted. I chose his headshot since I wanted one of what he actually looks like, not him as Darth Maul. “Make it out to Patty?” “Yes, but with an ‘ie.” He handed me the photo and I asked if I could impose and get a photo with him, as well. “Absolutely.” He came out from behind the table and we posed for a photo together.


Keep in mind I’m 5’8″ and was wearing flats that day; I’d put him at 5’9″ or maybe even 5’10”–taller than most Hollywood men (although, obviously, not Adam Baldwin). He thanked me and shook my hand again, and I floated back upstairs to Rich. I showed him the photo and described the encounter.

“You like him now, don’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. I think I just found my next Fantasy Second Husband©.”

“Great.”

Rich then took another look at the photo and at the Adam Baldwin photo. “Way to get them autographed to us.” This after he’d said okay to Adam Baldwin signing it only to me and after I hunted down an ATM to get Ray Park’s autograph. I said I’d go back and bug both of them to add “and Rich” to their autographs, but Rich said not to bother in that tone he uses when he really means yes, bother. So I headed back down to the main floor. I didn’t see Ray Park at his table, so I headed over to Adam Baldwin. I explained the situation and he very graciously added “& Rich” to his autographed photo. While I was there, I remembered to ask him what his current project is; turns out it’s a high-concept cop show called Day Break, debuting on ABC in the fall and a lot of the X Files crew are involved.

Ray Park still wasn’t back at his table but I noticed a huge crowd gathered in the corner beyond–turns out he was getting ready to do a lightsaber demonstration. This is when I really took notice of how friendly and charismatic he was; he really enjoyed bantering with the crowd, goofing around, and was having a lot of fun explaining how to duel with a lightsaber. He dueled first with one volunteer (who happened to be in complete Jedi uniform with his own lightsaber) and then with another volunteer, a guy who was working the convention. After a few duels, Ray Park added a second lightsaber to the mix, again taking on both volunteers. For the grand finale, he showed some moves with the big enchilada: a red, double-edged lightsaber like Darth Maul uses. While he was windmilling the thing, I could feel a breeze coming off it even though I was at least eight feet away. He then finished things with a backflip. Very impressive, indeed.

Since people swarmed to talk to him after the demo, I headed back upstairs, figuring I’d head down again later when the crowd had dissipated to get “and Rich” added to the autographed photo. I called Tamara to arrange a pickup so we could grab lunch together since Rich was planning on staying for a while. I’d already met two cool celebrities and bought a Chewbacca action figure, so I was ready to go.

I headed downstairs again and went to find Ray Park. I noticed him walking back from the demo corner and walked up to him.

“Hey, Pattie,” he smiled.

Sweet Jazzie Chrissie, he remembers my name! Ahem.

“I’m back. My husband made a fuss about the photo only being autographed to me, so could you add “and Rich” to it?” He laughed and said sure. As we walked back to his table, I said that seeing his lightsaber demonstration made me want to learn how to fence more than ever.

“Yeah? That’s cool.”

“I’ve wanted to learn for a really long time, and I figure it’ll also be something to add to my acting resume.”

“You act? Good for you.”

By then we were back at his table. A few people were waiting in line for autographs, but he waved me ahead of them and added “& Rich” to the autographed photo. We exchanged smiles and handshakes again, and I headed off to wait for Tamara to come get me. I have now met two Sith lords: Darth Vader and Darth Maul. I can now die happy.

In closing, let’s review why Ray Park is now at the top of my list of FSH©s:

• He’s hot
• He’s Scottish
• He’s super friendly
• He’s got a great smile
• He’s a martial arts expert
• He’s someone I’ve actually met

Tamara arrived shortly after that, and I spent the rest of the day catching up with her and running around to a few different stores. Rich got home around 8:30PM, and we both ended up going to bed earlier than we have in a really long time.

And that was my weekend.