Bad Sportsmanship

Song Lyric of the Day:

It feels like I’d been dying here underneath these dreams / It’s a cold cold world when who you are is always half asleep / You have woken up the lover now the other wants to leave

Platinum Weird / “Will You Be Around”

12:19PM.
Watching the news on MSNBC this morning, I noticed a theme among some of their top stories: bad sportsmanship. From bad manners at the World Cup to making divorce nastier than it already is to unapologetic rudeness, bad sportsmanship knows no bounds. To highlight some instances:

The Rebuttal Heard Round the World
I have, of course, heard all about French soccer player Zinedine Zidane headbutting Italian soccer player Marco Materazzi at the final game of the World Cup on Sunday (who hasn’t?). However, this morning was the first time I actually saw footage of the incident. The latest reports have Materazzi admitting that he made disparaging remarks to Zidane. Regardless, no matter how insulting what Materazzi said was, Zidane should not have used the soccer pitch as the forum for his attack. I guess with emotions running high during the game, he let his judgment lapse. And now his soccer legacy is suffering for it. At least he still has that really cool name of his.

War of the Roses Redux
Yesterday in New York City, a four-story house exploded on the Upper East Side. Understandably, the city’s initial fear was terrorism. Turns out it was the selfish act of a spiteful, malicious, divorcing doctor. An email has surfaced in which said doctor informs his almost ex-wife, along with numerous others on the mailing list, that he would rather die than leave his house. Well, he almost got his wish. He didn’t succeed and now faces serious jail time if he survives. I guess when you are the type of man who cuts off your wife’s financial support as she battles breast cancer and torments her by decorating your home with Nazi memorabilia (she’s Jewish), then blowing up your house instead of selling it to fulfill your divorce settlement makes sense.

Lessons in Time Mismanagement
Yesterday, Adam Corolla was scheduled to interview Satan’s favorite blonde minion, Ann Coulter, for his radio talk show. She called in like she was supposed to–an hour and a half late. SheDevil then had the nerve to tell Corolla that she was pressed for time. His response? He told her to get lost and hung up on her. And rightfully so. Not many people would be so tacky as to tell the person they left waiting that they were pressed for time. I guess trying to deflect all those plagiarism claims is keeping her busier than she anticipated.

9:10PM.
My friend, Brent, was kind enough to send me a couple of very bizarre, very creepy cartoons, Salad Fingers episodes one and two. Like the end of The Ring, I am hereby sharing them with you, dear readers, in the hopes that you will take the nightmares I am currently slated to have thanks to watching them. Thanks a lot, Brent.