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Programming Note

The episode of Vanished with Beth Holloway I filmed a few weeks ago is airing tonight on the Lifetime network at 10PM EST. I play the mom Patricia in the Rivazfar story’s reenactments.

You can read all about my day on set here.

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Walking to Fight Cancer

In a few minutes I’m leaving to head downtown to the World’s Fair Park for my 10th American Cancer Society Downtown Knoxville Relay for Life, my second as event chair. If you’re so inclined, I’d greatly appreciate a donation in support of the fight against cancer. I’m walking in honor of my mom, a 9 1/2 year breast cancer survivor.

To read all about why I do this year after year, read My Cancer Story here.

You can donate to me here.
You can donate to one of my teammates here.

Thanks!

 

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And … Scene!

Song Lyric of the Day:

I could stick around and get along with you, hello / It doesn’t really mean that i’m into you, hello / You’re alright but I’m here, darling, to enjoy the party / Don’t get too excited ’cause thats all you get from me, hey

Martin Solveig (featuring Dragonette) / “Hello

Monday afternoon I got a call from my talent agency about an acting job. You forgot I’m with an agency, didn’t you? It’s OK. I’d almost forgotten myself; the last job I had was a Ruby Tuesday commercial a couple of years ago. I’m also pretty sure my headshot is about four years old now (gotta get that updated). The job was for the Lifetime show Vanished With Beth Holloway and I’d be playing the mother of a couple of girls who get abducted. I ran into my boss’ office and excitedly told her about the gig; she agreed I could take the next day off to take the role (my boss is AWESOME). The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur since I was so excited and nervous about the job — the commercial was fairly recent, but the last time I did a docudrama was years ago. I spent Monday night packing what amounted to half my closet so I’d have more than enough outfits to choose from on set; I figured it was better to take too much clothes than not enough, because then I might end up having to wear something all wrong for a given scene.

After a last-minute cancellation for a late-night shoot Monday, I reported to UT Hospital at 8AM yesterday for my first scene of the day.

(I apologize for the photo quality — I only had my cell phone with me, not my camera. Added bonus: I sent these to Twitpic yesterday and it turns out they didn’t go through.)

Hospital Scene

Hospital scene setup

For the scene, I had to sit by my daughter’s hospital bedside, upset about what happened to her. A detective comes in the room and asks me to step into the hall to ask me some questions. That’s when the fun started. See, with docudramas like this where there’s narration playing over the re-creation scenes, you make up dialogue or just talk about whatever since what you say won’t actually be used on air. For some takes, we made up dialogue to go with the scene. Then there were the other scenes where Nick, the actor/producer playing the lead detective, was trying to make me laugh. He flashed his badge and introduced himself as “Detective Dirtbag.” He asked me if I realized he was missing The Price Is Right because of me, and that it only comes on once a day. The kicker was when he asked me if I knew why my boyfriend was wearing women’s underwear when he was arrested; I almost cracked up during that take, so I covered by pretending to cry even harder.

Tired mom makeup

Me post-scene in my tired/crying mom makeup

Next we headed to a house in Oak Ridge to film the other scenes. There I was introduced to not only my evil ex-boyfriend (the one who kidnapped the girls), but three other boyfriends. Apparently that wasn’t enough, because later on our awesome makeup artist, Jason, was recruited to play a fourth boyfriend.  Oh, and I was introduced to my son. That’s right: four boyfriends, three kids, and one ex. Busy day.

I got made up in heavy, smudgy makeup since I was supposed to have been out barhopping/clubbing. My first scene at the house involved me stumbling into my bedroom drunk, crawling into bed fully clothed, and passing out. Next to the first of my many fake boyfriends. Can you say awkward? Actually, it was more surreal than anything. It was all I could do not to laugh during one take when I was pretending to be passed out and Xander turned over while he was “sleeping.” Too weird.

Then it was on to a scene where me and my second boyfriend had an encounter in the hallway and failed to notice my daughter standing nearby. My third boyfriend and I didn’t ever have a scene together. Then my fourth boyfriend (Jason) and I watched TV with all three of the kids. He was given a beer while I was given watered-down Gatorade that passed for White Zinfandel. I took a few sips of it during our takes; I’d be lying if I said it tasted good.

Made up

Me in my "clubbing" makeup between scenes

In between takes, I hung out with the kids’ moms (the kids enjoyed running around between takes) and had a nice chat with one of the production assistants. I also enjoyed talking with all my fake boyfriends — they were a really nice bunch of guys. It turns out that my evil ex is actually married to one of my coworkers. Small world and all. We all had fun talking about what TV shows we’re currently enjoying (Game of Thrones was at the top of the list), and how we’d all pretty much give anything to get a call to be a zombie on The Walking Dead.

After my scenes wrapped, I headed out to pick up Coraline from my parents’ house and headed home to try to nap. I never did manage to fall asleep, but I enjoyed the much-needed downtime after getting home at almost 1AM that morning, sleeping terribly, and then shooting all day.

At 10PM, I headed back out to meet the crew downtown, from where we’d caravan out to Ijams Nature Center to film my DUI arrest scene (mother of the year, I know). I grabbed Rich’s camera so I could get pics of everyone. It turned out to just be Jeff, the director, Nick, and myself. On the way to Ijams, I asked Jeff all about what it was like to be a director, how long he’s been in the business, etc.; he’s worked on some really neat projects and traveled the world, even going to Venice recently.

Once at Ijams, we met up with Bill, a cop who lives there for security (news to me), so Nick could get prepped for the scene, including receiving instruction on the proper way to cuff me.

While Nick was getting ready, Jeff and I sat in the living room talking with Bill. That’s when I remembered I had a camera with me this time, and I asked if they’d mind if I took some pictures since I blog everything.

Jeff

Jeff, our intrepid director

Bill the cop

Bill the cop

Scene prep

Bill makes sure Nick's uniform is up to par

Once Nick was ready, we headed outside to film the scene. It was a quick scene, where I got handcuffed and put in the back of the cop car. I have to say, the handcuffs were really uncomfortable, and having to get in the car while cuffed was not easy. Nick apologized every time he had to put me in the car; I think he was worried I was going to bonk my head. Which, me being me, was a very real possibility. Being cuffed and put in a cop car — even though it was all pretend — is all the motivation I need to avoid a life of crime. That and the bruise one of the cuffs left of my right wrist (to be fair, I bruise easily).

Nick

Nick, my arresting officer

Once we finished the scene, Jeff and Nick joked that the key for the handcuffs was broken. I hardy-har-harred and was then released on my own recognizance. We headed back to Bill’s, said our thanks and goodnights, and Nick drove me back to my car downtown; we talked about movies, actors, and directors on the drive back. I ended up getting home at almost midnight, and today it was back to my usual daily grind.

Nick and Jeff

Nick and Jeff (who I think look like Bradley Cooper and Billy Squier, respectively)

And now you know what my day on set was like.

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I’m Not Dead Yet

Song Lyric of the Day:

Furry walls can take you on a magic carpet ride / Furry walls surround you till you got no place to hide / Let your furry fingers be your guide / Furry walls turn out the light / Furry walls please stay the night

Infant Sorrow / “Furry Walls

Wow — it’s been longer than I realized since I last updated. To the eight of you still reading, sorry about that. So what happened? Life, basically. To be more specific, life filled with illness. First Coraline got sick. She developed her first-ever fever on a Friday night, and by the following Monday was beyond miserable. It turned out she had an ear infection, although she never once pulled on her ear to clue us in. That is, other than playing with her ear while sucking her thumb, which she regularly does when hungry or tired. In addition to the ear infection, Coraline also had the cold from hell, with a horrible, hacking cough that made her cry. Rich and I agree she was sicker than when she had RSV, which is saying something. Most nights all three of us would suffer from lack of sleep since the poor kid would spend most of the night coughing and crying. It was awful seeing our little girl, who is normally so happy and non-fussy, whiny and crying from sheer misery. A few days after she got sick, I developed horrible congestion and my own hacking cough. Almost two weeks later, I still have a bit of a cough. Add in the humidity and heat here in Knoxville these days, and I’m now also wheezy. That’s right — my asthma’s kicked in again. My inhaler helps a bit, although the weather not being so oppressively hot and hazy would help more. Here’s hoping we get out of the ’90s soon. At least until my car AC is working again (we got it fixed in March and it’s not working again. Pattie is not amused).

So what else have we been up to besides illness? Work and the usual daily grind. Although Rich and I did enjoy a performance of Spamalot at the Tennessee Theatre in late May. It was awesomely hilarious (I was particularly fond of Herbert). Now I’d like to get tickets to see Young Frankenstein when it plays at the Tennessee in November. Because, really, if ever there were a Broadway musical based on one of my all-time favorites movies that I’m destined to see, it’s this one.

Despite being sick for a few weeks, Coraline still managed to practice pulling up on a regular basis. She’s now a pro at standing, although still with support. She’s gotten to the point now where she’ll cruise a bit, using whatever’s on hand to hang onto, including her play yard walls.

Standing at the Gate

Standing tall

Despite the ridiculous heat here in Knoxville, we’re still looking forward to the start of summer. Mostly because it means we can spend quality time letting Coraline play in her baby pool. We introduced her to it yesterday, and while she liked the idea of it (she loves bathtime), the water turned out to still be a bit too cold for her taste. We’ll let it keep warming up and try again in a few days. But at least I got some cute pictures of Coraline in her yellow swimsuit and matching hat. Not only did Rich and I think she looked adorable, our dog Caleb (her favorite) wholeheartedly agreed. 

Smiling at Caleb

Smiling at Caleb

In fact, Caleb thought Coraline looked so cute, he kissed her until the hat flew off her head and she tipped over.

A Kiss to Knock Her Hat Off

A kiss to knock her hat off*

*No babies or dogs were harmed in the taking of this photo. There was just a lot of saliva.

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Dear Coraline: Month 8

Dear Coraline,

As of 1AM this morning, you turned eight months old. I’m not sure exactly how much you weigh right now, but you’re definitely growing. I suspect you’re around 18, maybe 19, pounds now and are starting to outgrow some of your size six months clothes. You now fit into some of your size nine months clothes and are still in size 3 diapers.

You’ve been such an active baby this month. You started army crawling (on Easter Sunday, no less; day 213) and can now sit unassisted (you first pulled yourself into a sitting position by yourself on day 220). You love the independence you now have to move around on your own, and your poppa and I love watching you flit around from toy to toy. You also set land-speed records whenever I set my camera down or you spot your poppa’s cell phone within reach; you move fastest for electronics.

Coraline crawlingWe enjoyed some first holidays together this month. We celebrated your first Easter with a visit to the Easter Bunny at the mall (day 212; you were unimpressed) and an Easter basket at home. I also dressed you up in bunny ears your aunt bought you; you were even less amused than when you met the Easter Bunny. We also celebrated my first official Mother’s Day (day 227); I say official since I was pregnant with you during Mother’s Day last year. Mother’s Day was also your first visit to Market Square downtown, where we ate brunch at The Tomato Head. You absolutely loved people-watching, which is something your great-grandma, Abuela Tulita, loved to do. So thank you for that. It made me feel like she was with me that day.

Disgruntled Bunny

First Easter BasketYour personality continues to develop, and you never fail to amuse us with your antics, like when you grabbed your cousin Stephen by the hair and tried to kiss him (day 217) and how you started to turn around while we read you bedtime stories so you can watch us reading (day 218). Your first hint of stranger anxiety came about when our friend dropped by the house one Sunday (day 220), but you got over it pretty quickly. That was also the same day we noticed you talking to and giggling at your toys. Your Auntie Tamara gave you a Curious George doll that chitters like a monkey (day 226), and you’re head over heels for him. You even tried sharing one of your Easter eggs with him, the first time you ever made your toys co-mingle (day 228).

Giggles for GeorgeYour sixth tooth finally broke through (day 221), the upper second right incisor. You tried sweet potatoes (day 219) and apples (day 223), and used a sippy cup for the first time (day 233). You started holding your elbow while you suck your thumb (day 219). You weaned yourself the day before you turned seven months old and are no longer breastfeeding. As of day 228, you now have a play yard in our den so you have a safe, dog-free zone in which to play. You got ambitious and pulled yourself up on your knees when playing with your Sit-to-Stand Giraffe (day 230), which you continue to do using both your giraffe and your play yard walls, something I liken to the velociraptor in Jurassic Park testing for weak spots on the fence.

Sippy CupYou’ve also been very social this month, enjoying visits with your grandparents and your Auntie Kirsten, among others, and attending your first non-family get-together (day 233). You rode in a shopping cart at Target for the first time, as well as mastered traditional crawling that same day (day 240). Bye-bye, army crawl! You also hit an unhappy milestone this month: your first fever, 100.3 degrees (day 239), which had you feeling absolutely miserable. Your poppa and I think it might be related to teething, though. Be thankful teething is something you won’t remember.

This month has been so much fun. You’ve grown leaps and bounds, and continue to do so almost faster than your poppa and I can keep up with. We love watching you figure things out and learn new skills, puzzling things out on your own. I love you more than I can say and can’t wait to see what adventures month nine brings.

Coraline & Mommylove,

Mommy

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Photoblogging: Curls

Curls

Coraline's curls are really starting to take shape (day 233, 5/14/11).

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Mother’s Day 2011: My First

Song Lyric of the Day:

In my daughter’s eyes everyone is equal / Darkness turns to light and the / World is at peace / This miracle God gave to me gives me / Strength when I am weak / I find reason to believe / In my daughter’s eyes

Martina McBride / “In My Daughter’s Eyes

Today was officially my first Mother’s Day. Last year I was about five months pregnant on Mother’s Day, a day during which Rich treated me to a mom-to-be lunch at Latitude 35. Last year was great, but this year was so much better since, of course, miss Coraline is now with us. Rich let me choose where I wanted to have lunch or brunch, so I chose brunch at The Tomato Head (I love me some Belgian waffles). It was Coraline’s first visit to downtown Knoxville, and oh, how she ate up the sights and sounds in Market Square; she’s an avid people-watcher, just like my Abuela Tulita was.

Coraline and Mommy on Market Square

Coraline and Mommy on Market Square

We ran into some friends, whom Coraline sized up and deemed worthy of smiling for. Once inside the restaurant, Coraline decided she’d rather be held than stuck in her stroller. She’s happiest when she’s a part of the action; I’m surprised she didn’t get whiplash from watching all the people and waitstaff zipping past us. Rich and I took turns holding her while we ate; he and I have, like most parents, gotten quite adept at eating one-handed.

After brunch, we took a nice walk around the square, over to Gay Street and Mast General Store, then back to Rita’s Ice for some dessert, me hobbling the whole way on the pinky toe I’m pretty sure I broke yesterday. Once we got home, it was time for all three of us to take a nap. Coraline resisted as usual, but I’d rather have her sleep through the night than nap if that’s what it boils down to, especially since she sleeps like a champ overnight (10-13 hours).

***

I’m still learning my way as a mom. I like to think I’m doing a pretty good job, learning as I go. I’m incredibly blessed to have a happy, healthy baby girl. I’m also incredibly blessed to have my own amazing mom, who, for as long as I can remember, has shown me what unconditional love is and what it means to always put your children’s best interests ahead of your own. She’s done and sacrificed a lot for me (and my sisters) throughout my life. I look to her to continue showing me my way as I navigate new momhood. And, like Coraline, my love for my mom is more than I can put in words.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, step-moms, aunts, and honorary moms out there. Thanks for all you do.

Coraline and Mommy Mother's Day

Coraline and Mommy on our first Mother's Day

Coraline and Abuela

Coraline and her Abuela the day before Mother's Day (photo taken by my sis)

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Photoblogging: Finn, the Cinco de Mayo Birthday Cat

Finn Closeup

Happy 15th birthday to my cat, Finn. Even though she mauled me and sent me to the hospital the first time we met, she's truly a sweetheart. With a badass attitude, which I think this photo captures perfectly.

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Addressing the Monkey on My Back

Song Lyric of the Day:

You never use words you can’t afford / A house of cards and it’s a sign / So wait up / You never get nervous anymore / So wait up / You never get nervous anymore / What did you want me to say?

***

What a crazy couple of days it’s been, huh? Thanks to poor Coraline’s teething pains (tooth #6) Sunday night, Rich and I were still awake when news of Osama Bin Laden’s death first broke across all the TV stations. I’m still processing the news, like trying to make sense of the fact that the monster who physically and emotionally decimated my hometown, the city where I was born, was finally killed almost 10 long years after 9/11. I can’t say I felt joy upon hearing the news, but I certainly felt relief. And a kind of shock that we finally got him. I think it’s impossible for me to feel genuine joy or happiness about it since him being dead won’t bring back any of the thousands of people he killed, won’t make things go back to how they used to be, won’t instantly end wars, won’t return us to a more innocent existence. But it’s certainly a relief.

***

Remember how I finally took the plunge and joined LinkedIn awhile back to start networking in the hopes of landing freelance writing work? Well, I’ve also finally started to deal with the writing monkey on my back. Which is good since you need to write to get published. I put pen to paper, as it were (OK, I typed on my MacBook), and knocked out a personal essay I’ve been wanting to write for a little while now. Rich liked it — he’s a great, supportive hubby that way — and my best friend and fabulously gifted writer Caren also liked it. Caren also gave me invaluable feedback which will help me refine it over the next few days so it’ll be in great shape for submission to the website I’ve got my eye on. Me being a superstitious dork, that’s all I’ll say about it for now. But I feel really good that I finally wrote something besides a blog post — it’s been too long. And in the hopes of real-life networking and general motivation and inspiration to write more, I’m going to go to the monthly Knoxville Writers’ Guild meeting tomorrow night. (If you’re there, I’ll be the quiet one hiding in the back row.) Just the fact that the Guild has the apostrophe in the right place — and that they used an apostrophe at all — warms this word nerd’s heart and gives me confidence that I’ll be around genuine, bona-fide writers. Should be interesting.

Who knows? I might be so inspired by the meeting tomorrow night that I’ll relight the fire under my ass and get back to work on my novel. You know — since I have all the words up in my head already. Now to get them out onto some paper.

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For Adam

We got him, Adam. It took 10 years, but we got him. I pray this brings your family, your friends, and everyone else who lost a loved one that day a small measure of comfort.

My 9/11 tribute to Adam Shelby White

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