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Last House on the Left DVD

At the time of its release in 1972, Last House on the Left traumatized moviegoers. The tagline, advising viewers to keep repeating “It’s only a movie, it’s only a movie” only served to enhance the illusion that the movie was based on true events. Surely, only a documentary could be this disturbingly graphic, right? Well, in a true testament to how jaded my generation is thanks to the modern-day slasher movie, the movie fails to scare. Specifically, it fails to scare me. Make no mistake, though — the story of two teenage girls who come across violent criminals who torture, rape, and kill them, is without a doubt very disturbing; at times, the movie is hard to watch because the violence aimed at the girls is convincingly visceral. The parents’ revenge is almost as hard to watch in the last third of the movie. While this kind of story can take place at any time, the movie’s soundtrack kept reminding me (annoyingly so) that the movie was made in the early ’70s; a lyricless score would’ve fared much better over the years. But for a low-budget movie, the film definitely makes an impression.

Last House on the Left is probably most notable since it was Wes Craven‘s first writing and directing effort. Craven, of course, has continued to contribute to the horror movie pantheon, bringing us Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street series and the Scream trilogy. While die-hard fans of the modern horror movie scene (like myself) will likely approach the movie with the same jaded attitude I had, it’s definitely worth watching to see how a director as influential and creative as Wes Craven started out.

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A Party, Santa, & a Pit Bull

Christmas Song Lyric of the Day:

The third thing at Christmas / That’s such a pain to me: Hangovers

Bob Rivers Twisted Christmas / “The 12 Pains of Christmas”

9:30PM.
Lara’s party was a blast last night. Not only did we have fun hanging out with a bunch of our wo
rk friends, but the live entertainment rocked, too — Sara Schwabe & Her Yankee Jass Band played, and, boy, can Sara belt out those songs. Rich and I got home at 1:15AM and didn’t wake up until noon today. We slept that late because we’re old and were up way past our bedtime. That, and being social always wipes us out. Go figure.

A few pics from the party
:



Despite our late start to the day, Rich was kind enough to accompany me and Caleb to PetSmart, where Caleb got two photos made with Santa Claus. It took about eight people (us included) to get him to sit still — and face the camera — long enough to get photographed. Once Rich scans the photos into his computer, I’ll post them here.

After PetSmart, I dropped Rich and Caleb off at home and headed out for yet more Christmas shopping and even more errands. And even though I’m pooped, I’m looking forward to my department’s Christmas party tomorrow at Bravo. Half-day Monday, here I come!

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Party Time

Christmas Song Lyric of the Day:

Got to go away – But baby it’s cold outside / This evening has been – Been hoping you’d drop in / So very nice – I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice

Dean Martin / “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

5:30PM.
Arggggggggghhhhhhhh! Rich and I spent the last five hours Christmas shopping and running errands. And now we have to get ready for Lara’s party.
Arggggggggghhhhhhhh! No nap today.

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Looking Toward the Weekend

Christmas Song Lyric of the Day:

Take it easy, why ya gotta be so absurd? / You make it sound like Christmas is a four-letter word / It’s a fact of life whether you like or not / So put your hands together and give it a shot

Sufjan Stevens / “Get Behind Me, Santa”

3:03PM.
This weekend is going to be busy. Christmas shopping to try and finish, my boss’s Christmas party, presents to wrap, a house to clean.

You know what I need to help me get through Christmas? A clone.

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The 12 Pounds of Christmas

Christmas Song Lyric of the Day:

And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage / He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger / And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger / Then he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen / Then he took a big bite and said “It tastes just like chicken!”

“Weird Al” Yankovic / “The Night Santa Went Crazy”

1:01PM.
Based on my recent Thanksgiving-initiated weight gain, an appropriate name for the period between turkey day and New Year’s Day could be “The Fattening.” Despite this post’s title, I haven’t actually gained 12 pounds, although I’m certainly on my way. Must…stop…eating. Jeans that once hung comfy and loose around my hips now feel — and look — more like sausage casings. That bloated belly — well, it turns out it’s not bloated. It’s just fat. If I want to see my abs, which I worked so hard over the summer to develop, I have to suck my stomach in so it almost touches my spine. And then I have to turn sideways and squint. Hard.

I find it interesting that of all the things we associate with the holidays — fellowship, love, faith — it’s eating that seems to take top billing (vying closely with shopping, no doubt). Work only fuels the round-the-clock snacking; today is the first day in several where a coworker has not brought in treats to share with everyone. However, another department received a gift basket yesterday with cookies and chocolates, so I hunted down the leftovers and ate a couple of butter cookies for a post-frozen meal lunch snack. Okay, I ate six. But four of those were tiny.

The sad thing is, I know I’ll be hungry again in about three hours — that’s just how my metabolism works. Fortunately, I won’t have to go far in search of snacks. I can hit the vending machine across the hall, raid my potato chip stash, grab more cookies, or stop by a coworker’s cubicle that is stocked with a communal candy bowl year-round. That bowl has been my downfall many, many times. It’s also been my salvation on the many occasions when nothing but chocolate will do.

Even though I know I’ll probably gain a few more pounds between now and the new year, I’m not going to sweat it. Because I know once we’re past the holidays it will be much, much easier to quit eating and snacking so much. In the meantime, I’ll have to comfort myself with the knowledge that most of my jeans are stretchy and will rebound to their normal contours. Much as I hope to do in a few weeks.

1:31PM.
Today kicks off my 12 days of Christmas Song Lyrics of the Day. This year, like last, I’ll be using a holiday song for each of the 12 days leading up to, and including, Christmas day. I’d like to use slightly more offbeat ones this year, so feel free to send your suggestions my way.

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Thai Me Up, Thai Me Down

Song Lyric of the Day:

Don’t think about all those things you fear / Just be glad to be here

FC Kahuna / “Hayling”

9:01PM.
After days of craving Thai food (I blame Caren), Rich and I took lunch together and went to Taste of Thai today (ah, sweet alliteration). Normally, our visits are great. The service is always good, the food is always delicious, and we’re in and out with no problem. Maybe because it’s Monday, today’s visit just wasn’t up to par. Actually, compared to how enjoyable our visits there usually are, today downright sucked.

It took forever to get the spring rolls that come with lunch entrees, and ours were only lukewarm when we did finally get them. At least the crab and cream cheese appetizers were hot and fresh; I could eat those things until I pop. Or have a massive heart attack on account of one too many crab and cream cheese rolls shoving a fat clog into an artery. You get the idea.

Our entrees took a very long time to be delivered to our table. Rich and I shared worried glances when a different server than the one who took our orders came to our table to ask what exactly we’d originally ordered more than 20 minutes earlier.

Once our entrees did arrive, we were both disappointed by how bland and flavorless they were. New chef? Who knows. We just know that we may not be visiting again for a while.

At least the Panera Bread next door had my favorite strawberry and cream cheese pastries in stock; that’ll be a nice afternoon snack.

My love of cream cheese is going to be the end of me someday.

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The Giving Spree

Song Lyric of the Day:

It’s true that you / Are touched by something / That will grow and bloom in you

10,000 Maniacs / “These Are the Days”

7:15PM.
I’m a selfish person. I admit it. I’m such a selfish, greedy witch I even maintain a wish list year-round. Granted, it’s mostly due to my shoddy memory, an attempt at being organized, and wishful thinking that, should I ever play the lottery, I might land a windfall for a shopping spree, but damn if it doesn’t come in handy come birthday and Christmas time. While the spouse is also admittedly selfish, he’s not nearly as materialistic as I can
be. I say “can be” because, contrary to all the things I want (but don’t necessarily need) and say, I do (a) exercise restraint and (b) get great deals when I do buy things.

That said, Rich and I first started buying gifts for Angel Tree children when I worked for a government contractor in Virginia. (See, we’re not complete heathens.) This year, like last, I picked three children’s tags (two girls and a boy) off the Angel Tree at West Town Mall and set about trying to find the toys they wanted. I found the first little girl’s gifts quickly enough. I ended up at Target the same day I picked up the tags, and, lo and behold, the Bratz dolls she wanted were on sale. At $6.98 each, I bought her three for the price of two. I have to say, the Baby Bratz are pretty damn cute; I bought her two of those and the Costume Party doll. One kid down, two more to go.

I ran around during a few of my lunch breaks last week and one night after work in search of Rescue Heroes action figures and Lisa Frank craft kits. At least the second girl had a standby present, Totally Me craft kits, in lieu of Lisa Frank ones. But I couldn’t find either of the craft kits or anything similar to the Rescue Heroes. By the end of the week, I was ready to pull my hair out. Either stores were sold out or didn’t carry these particular items. I got my first glimpse into what it must be like for parents shopping for Christmas presents for their kids. (Apologies to Mom and Dad for putting them through the same crap when I was younger.) I didn’t want to disappoint these kids, but I couldn’t find these toys anywhere; online buying was out of the question since I needed to turn the toys in today.

Enter Tamara. While talking on the phone yesterday and planning to meet up, Tamara mentioned that she was at Knoxville Centre Mall across town. As in, she was right next to another Toys ‘R Us. I begged her to check for these specific toys, and, happily, she found them. So she picked up two Rescue Heroes action figures and two Totally Me craft kits, and I paid her back when we met up for lunch. Then we hit the mall where I turned the gifts in; I went back today to turn in the Bratz dolls, which I hadn’t taken with me yesterday.

So I feel happy, relieved, and accomplished at having found the toys (with Tamara’s invaluable help) these kids wanted. Rich and I are also donating last year’s Christmas tree to a needy family via our friend Benjamin. He runs group homes for mentally ill adult men and we’d originally asked him if one of the houses could use a tree. When he got back to us he said that, no, the houses didn’t need a tree, but he did know a family with seven children who could use one, which Rich and I are happy to give. While at Target today I picked up a 70+-piece ornament tree trimming kit to go with the tree, along with a star and strands of garland (the tree is prelit, so I didn’t need to buy lights). I’m also giving the kids my Hercules and Pocahontas Hallmark ornaments. I still like them and think they’re cute, but I’ve been over my Disney phase for some time now so I think it’s the right time to say goodbye to these ornaments. And who better to appreciate them than little kids, right? However, I’m still very fond of The Lion King, so those ornaments aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

I’ve been in an especially Christmasy mood this year, largely due to the fact that this year I have a job (yay!), so it feels good to help out where we can. Now if I could just finish my shopping for the year…

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Pet Santa Hat Torture Project 2006

Song Lyric of the Day:

Say mutt?

Bob Rivers’ Twisted Christmas / “Be Claus I Got High”

12:02AM.
Time for fun with animals! I decided it was time to take portraits of my babies in their Santa hats. As you can see, their reactions range from surprising to downright alarming.

Belle had no choice since Rich was holding her.

Buster resorted to purring in self-defense.
Caleb begged for food in between attempts to flip the hat off his head.
Snoops imagined she was in her happy place.
Finn began plotting my death.
And Yum Yum simply flopped over and played dead.

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Shaken and Stirred

Song Lyric of the Day:

Arm yourself because no one else here will save you / The odds will betray you / And I will replace you

Chris Cornell / “You Know My Name”

10:15PM.
After climbing the walls waiting to see it for the last two weeks, I finally saw the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, tonight with my friends Kelley and Camille. The verdict? The movie rocks. And Daniel Craig? Wow. The man is hot beyond belief, a man’s man, and all stylish cool. Oh, and he can act, too. In short, a perfect choice to reinvent/reset the long-stagnated Bond series.

The best reaction came from Kelley as the opening credits came to a close. As Daniel Craig’s face filled the screen, Kelley, wary from the start about him stepping in as Bond, slapped her thigh and said, “Dammit, he’s hot!” After I said “Told ya so,” she quickly added, “But I still love Pierce!” Of course, all three of us swooned at the sight of Mr. Craig in those now-famous blue swim trunks. I have to add, though, that fully clothed the man is just as stunning — he was made to wear designer clothes. And now back to planet Earth…

After the movie, we hit Abuelo’s Mexican Embassy for a movie post-mortem and late dinner. Stuffing myself like a piggy at a trough, I had a fun night out with some girlfriends and am now ready for bed. Because in addition to being a piggy, I’m old.

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Holidazed & Confused

Song Lyric of the Day:

Well you praise him / Then you thank him / ‘Til you reach the by-and-by / And I’ve won hundreds at the track / But I’m not betting on the afterlife

Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins / “Big Guns”

10:23PM.
Thanksgiving was great. I made a delicious (if I say so myself) sage butter turkey, Rich and I hosted 12 people at our house, and fun was had by all. We even sent leftovers home with people thanks to the disposable Gladware we picked up the day before.

I managed to get some Christmas shopping done over the long weekend, including taking advantage of some Black Friday sales while out with Vanessa and Ken. I met up with them at 4:50AM, and by the time I got home at 10AM it felt like it should have been lunchtime. Which it was when I woke up almost three hours later.

I’m having an abbreviated work week due to our Christmas party on Friday afternoon. I’m really looking forward to the food and ice skating. The bummer is that, as a freelancer, Rich can’t come, even though we work in the same office. Que sera, sera, eh?

***

I’ve been thinking about ways to further incorporate TV/movie reviews and commentary into ye olde blog here. I’ve decided that, time permitting, I’ll post reviews as stand-alone entries. A Song Lyric of the Day will accompany the primary entry for the day, a la this one, whereas a review will simply be titled with the work in question.

I’ve got a lot of reviewing to do.

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