“That book I picked up from the library is about the Green River Killer. It’s by a famous true-crime writer named Ann Rule. She wrote her first book after discovering that the nice guy she worked with at a crisis hotline was actually a serial killer. Turns out her friend…
humor
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Scene From a Marriage # 27,784
While discussing a certain best-selling “erotic” literary trilogy: “You know those books started out as Twilight fan fiction? Twilight fan fiction!” “At least she finished writing them. Bam!” “Shut up. Honestly, she just took Twilight and threw some S&M stuff in there. Ugh. Makes me want to kill someone.” “You do…
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A Conversation With Coraline: Abandon Ship
“Were you alive when The Titanic sank?” “No. No one you know was alive when it sank.” “Not even Abuela?” “Oh my God. It sank one hundred six years ago! She would be horrified to hear you think she’s that old.” “Don’t tell her!”
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A Conversation With Coraline: Running the Numbers
“How old are you?” “How old do you think I am?” “I don’t know. Thirty-two?” “Today you are my favorite child.”
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A Conversation With Coraline: The News
Noticing ABC World News Tonight With David Muir was on the TV: “Can you record this?” “It’s already recording. Why do you want to watch it?” “Because sometimes I think the news is exciting.” “Well, I’ll keep it recorded for you.” “Yay!”
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A Conversation With Coraline: Heaven Is a One-Way Trip
After discussing our dearly departed dogs: “Why do people not come back from heaven?” “Because they just don’t, sweetie. People and animals don’t live forever. But the good thing is in heaven you’re healthy and happy, and you know someday you will see your loved ones again.” “Yes, when their…
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A Conversation With Coraline: Cows and Heroes
“What did you learn about in school today?” “We talked about cows and heroes!” “Cows and heroes? That’s interesting.” “And guess what?” “What?” “I’ve been waiting to tell you this all day because it’s really special. Do you know who my hero is?” “No. Who’s your hero?” Pointing excitedly: “You…
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A Conversation With Coraline: Victoria’s Real Secret
“Look, Mommy! They have little dresses for little kids!” “Those aren’t dresses.” “Yes, they are.” “No, they’re people clothes.” “Oh. Look! There’s another little dress for little kids!” “Again, that’s not a little dress. You know what? I’ll come back another day by myself.”
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Scene From a Marriage # 34,774
After driving out of our neighborhood on the way to day care: “Oh my God! I forgot my phone!” “Really? You never forget that.” “It’s OK. I can go home at lunchtime to get it.” A few blocks from day care: “Oh my God! I left my work laptop at…
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A Conversation With Coraline: The Publix Checkout Line
Pointing: “Can you buy me that book?” “Which one?” “The one with the wedding girls.” “That’s not a book. It’s a bridal magazine.” “What’s that?” “It’s to help women plan their weddings. And you are not currently planning your wedding.” While flipping through the pages of the magazine: “Because I…