While discussing a certain best-selling “erotic” literary trilogy: “You know those books started out as Twilight fan fiction? Twilight fan fiction!” “At least she finished writing them. Bam!” “Shut up. Honestly, she just took Twilight and threw some S&M stuff in there. Ugh. Makes me want to kill someone.” “You do…
marriage
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And Lo on This Day Their 15th Wedding Anniversary Came to Pass
Song Lyric of the Day: Tell me one more time / What is this thing called love / I’m not quite sure / As to what is going down / But I’m feelin’ hunky dory / ‘Bout this thing that I found Heavy D & the Boyz / “Now That…
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Scene From a Marriage # 34,774
After driving out of our neighborhood on the way to day care: “Oh my God! I forgot my phone!” “Really? You never forget that.” “It’s OK. I can go home at lunchtime to get it.” A few blocks from day care: “Oh my God! I left my work laptop at…
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The Mountain Birthday Party
Song Lyric of the Day: High on a mountain top / We live, we love, and we laugh a lot / Folks up here know what they got / High on a mountain top Loretta Lynn / “High On a Mountain Top“ Last summer our friends hosted a party at…
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Happy 40th Birthday to My Blue-Eyed Boy
Today is Rich’s birthday, the 17th one I’ve celebrated with him. And it’s a biggie: his 40th. While I think I said everything there was to say last year, I still want to wish him all the happiness in the world and that all his birthday wishes come true. He’s…
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Scene From a Marriage # 7,642
While opening Christmas stockings: “Nickels? Two rolls of nickels?” “I’m not very good at the stocking thing yet.” “Clearly.”
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Scene From a Marriage #33,011
“And then we watched some Monsters vs. Aliens.” “What?! Oh my God, I can’t believe you let her watch that!” “Why not? She loves it.” “Because it’s violent and scary, that’s why. Wait, that’s not right, is it?” “Good grief. You’re thinking of Alien vs. Predator.” “Oh. Yeah, I am. Whoops.…
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Scene From a Marriage # 32,349
After my pinky toe PIP reduction follow-up appointment: “Want to see a picture? Look!” Noticeably paling: “And this little piggy went ‘bleccccccch.'”
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Scene From a Marriage # 5,386
“Why does my puppy’s breath smell like a humidor?” Gasping: “My cigar!” “Your cigar?” “I was smoking a cigar outside and tucked the unfinished part in the windowsill.” “The puppy-level windowsill?” “Yeah.” “Didn’t think that one out, did you?” *Believe it or not, this was Caleb, NOT Troubadour.
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Scene From a Marriage #31,974
After explaining to Coraline what a submarine is: “You know, I’ve been on a submarine.” “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea at Disney World doesn’t count.” “Dammit.” “I know how you think, boy.”