Looking at the iPad and reading aloud: “‘How to tell if you’re a hipster.'”
“Does having a pair of panties that are called hipsters count?”
“It does not. That just means you’re a parent.”
Tag Archives: marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 22,488
After hours of driving in a torrential downpour:
“This always happens when I’m driving. You always get the good weather. I’m the one who gets the crap weather, while you get Snow White standing on the side of the road with birds on her fingers.”
Laughing: “That’s not true. I’ve had bad weather when I was the one driving.”
“Whatever. I promise you that if we switched places right now and you got behind the wheel that, oh, it would stop raining and the sun would shit out a unicorn or something.”
“Wow. ‘Shit out a unicorn.’ Even for you, that’s eloquent.”
Filed under scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage #25,236
“Hey, did you hear about that Tupac hologram performing at Coachella?”
“Nope.”
“You have to see it.”
Nodding toward Coraline, who has come to stand in front of the iPad as the video starts playing: “Should she be watching this?”
“Oh, she’s fine.”
“She’s starting to repeat things. And he’s already dropped the F-bomb a few times.”
“Oh, well, I don’t think she really noticed.”
Nodding toward an entranced, non-blinking Coraline: “Honey, I really don’t think our 19-month-old should be watching and listening to gangsta rap. I can’t believe I’m the one having to say that.”
Filed under humor, scene from a marriage
Scene From a Marriage # 24,422
“So what’d you get me for Valentine’s Day?
“Nothing!”
“Oh, that’s a relief. I haven’t gotten you anything, either.”
With mock horror: “Whaaaat?!”
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage #23,931
Walking into the living room and spotting our dog Troubadour wrapped in a blanket on my lap:
“Oh my God. What is this?”
Troubadour pokes his head out from the blanket, looking guilty and busted.
“Umm … he likes to sit in my lap.”
“You know he’s not supposed to get on the sofa!”
“Well, technically, he’s only on me, so he’s not actually on the sofa.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Umm … months.”
“Months?! I feel like I caught you having an affair.”
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage #21,630
While driving past a cemetery on the way to my parents’ house for Christmas Eve dinner:
“Hey, have you thought about where you want to be buried when you die? Here, or in Iowa?”
Looking at me in disbelief: “Merry Christmas!”
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage #14,672
After finding out that Bundle was a girl:
“God, I hope she has your hair.”
Gently placing my hand over his: “Aww. Me, too, honey. Me too.”
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage #21,249
“Thanks for making the bed this morning.”
“Thanks for not complaining about how I did it.”
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage # 20,139
While scanning the Directv guide: “Hillbilly Handfishin’“? Seriously? How much more of this reality crap can they come up with?”
Rich explains how he’s heard about this fishing technique but can’t remember what else it’s called exactly.
“Wait — is handfishing the same as fisting?” Pausing. “Oh, wait. That’s something else.”
Laughing: “Wow. I have to put this on Facebook.
Filed under Uncategorized
Scene From a Marriage # 15,798
After a day of mutual intestinal distress:
“How’s your stomach?”
“Still with me. How’s yours?”
“It feels like my butt’s going to blow off.”
Laughing: “See, romance isn’t dead. It’s just full of gas.”
Filed under humor, marriage, relationship, scene from a marriage
