Category Archives: humor

A Conversation With Coraline: The News

Noticing ABC World News Tonight With David Muir was on the TV: “Can you record this?” “It’s already recording. Why do you want to watch it?” “Because sometimes I think the news is exciting.” “Well, I’ll keep it recorded for … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: Heaven Is a One-Way Trip

After discussing our dearly departed dogs: “Why do people not come back from heaven?” “Because they just don’t, sweetie. People and animals don’t live forever. But the good thing is in heaven you’re healthy and happy, and you know someday … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: Cows and Heroes

“What did you learn about in school today?” “We talked about cows and heroes!” “Cows and heroes? That’s interesting.” “And guess what?” “What?” “I’ve been waiting to tell you this all day because it’s really special. Do you know who … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: Victoria’s Real Secret

“Look, Mommy! They have little dresses for little kids!” “Those aren’t dresses.” “Yes, they are.” “No, they’re people clothes.” “Oh. Look! There’s another little dress for little kids!” “Again, that’s not a little dress. You know what? I’ll come back … Continue reading

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Scene From a Marriage # 34,774

After driving out of our neighborhood on the way to day care: “Oh my God! I forgot my phone!” “Really? You never forget that.” “It’s OK. I can go home at lunchtime to get it.” A few blocks from day … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: The Publix Checkout Line

Pointing: “Can you buy me that book?” “Which one?” “The one with the wedding girls.” “That’s not a book. It’s a bridal magazine.” “What’s that?” “It’s to help women plan their weddings. And you are not currently planning your wedding.” … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: Q&A

“What does … chocolate milk turn into?” “Pee.” “What does … chocolate turn into?” “Poop.” “What does … candy turn into?” “Poop.” “What does … water turn into?” “Pee.” “What does … the fox say?” “Ni ni ni ni ni … Continue reading

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A Conversation With Coraline: Baby Gaga

“I’m going to have a baby sister.” “Oh, you are now, are you? Because that’s news to me.” “Yes. And she will be named Baby Gaga!” “You know that wouldn’t be her real name, right?”

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Scene From a Marriage # 7,642

While opening Christmas stockings: “Nickels? Two rolls of nickels?” “I’m not very good at the stocking thing yet.” “Clearly.”

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Scene From a Marriage #33,011

“And then we watched some Monsters vs. Aliens.” “What?! Oh my God, I can’t believe you let her watch that!” “Why not? She loves it.” “Because it’s violent and scary, that’s why.¬†Wait, that’s not right, is it?” “Good grief. You’re … Continue reading

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